November is National Caregiving Awareness Month and if you have parents over the age of 65, it’s been reported that about 75% of them will need some type of extended care. In addition, elders over the age of 75, who have had some type of medical event, are much more likely to need care outside of their homes such as the services provided in a retirement community or assisted living facility. As your parents age, you will begin to face a number of challenges in providing for their care. Now is the time to have the discussion about the type of care needed.

Ken Dychtwald, author of the book “Age Wave,” points out that most elder care is provided by women, either wives or adult children. However, if you are one of the Baby Boomer generation, it is likely that you had fewer children than your parents. On average, Boomers had 2 children versus the average of four that their parents had. You may not even live in the same area as your parents or your siblings. Another challenge for the women who provide, or will provide care for aging parents (or in-laws) is that 80% of women are working today compared with the 38% of women who were working in the 1950s.

The first step in your decision making about the type of retirement or assisted living care that your parents may need is to consider the emotional toll that caregiving may take on you. Caregiving is one of the most difficult things that anyone can do – especially for their parents (or in-laws). Though the first thought is to provide the caregiving by yourself, you have to ask yourself if you can emotionally afford to take care of your parents. The reality is that you may have to bathe your father, possibly help toilet your mother. You may have to spend nights at your parents or you may have to drive them to doctor’s appointments or even the grocery store. You have to ask yourself if you are prepared to devote the kind of time that caregiving will take, and know that it is OK if you decide that you cannot provide the care yourself. Once you know what you can both physically and emotionally provide, you must have a conversation with your parents and the rest of the family about their needs and wishes.

That first conversation is often the hardest thing for families to do, but questions about and answers to such topics as power-of-attorney, finances, advanced directives, and end of life decision must be considered. After the family talk, it is important to seek the advice of a professional. You can talk to a tax accountant, elder-law attorney, and/or a financial planner. Then, put the plan in writing so that everyone in the family knows what your parents’ wishes are. You’ll want to be specific about the timing of your parents’ move to a retirement community. You may even take the opportunity to visit some nearby retirement or assisted living communities. It is much easier to assess a communities potential for providing the care your parents need when an immediate decision does not have to be made.

The retirement and assisted living communities of Retirement Unlimited, Inc. are a great place to start the decision process with your parents. As a family owned company with communities throughout Virginia, Retirement Unlimited, Inc. does not require an endowment or entrance fee in any of their communities. Plus, with services ranging from independent living to dementia care, you are certain to find the right level of care for your parents.

Recently, the Washington Post published an article about the potential pitfalls of buying into a Continuing Care Retirement Community (CCRC). In addition, a sidebar article by David Hilzenrath suggested scrutinizing the fine print of a contract prior to moving into this type of Retirement Community. However, a Continuing Care Retirement Community with its many amenities in not the only option for retirement or assisted living care. The Washington Post articles did raise some important issues that need to be addressed prior to moving in to ANY retirement or assisted living facility. You need answers regarding how the facility handles changing level of care, additional fees, move out decision making, and financial security. Additionally, the financial viability of the retirement or assisted living community is important to learn. Publicly owned companies make decisions about operations differently than privately owned retirement companies; and for-profit companies have different operating structures than no-for-profit companies.

Clearly, there are some major issues to resolve prior to moving into a retirement or assisted living community. The following is a list of questions you should consider asking any potential retirement or assisted living community. The questions are based on the concerns raised in the Washington Post articles.

• How does the community determine when a resident needs another level of care different than the level required when he or she originally moved in?
• Does the community notify the resident or family about the change in care and if so, how much notice is given?
• What are ALL the costs associated with a change in level of care?
• If a resident needs more care is he or she required to physically move to another apartment?
• What is specifically provided under another level of care? Can the family provide any aspect of the care or must the care be provided by the community?
• How long can the resident remain at the new level of care before another change is required?
• At what point will the community no longer be able to care for the resident?
• What type of training is given to the staff that provides the care to the resident?
• How often is the rent or additional fees changed or raised?
• What kind of notice is required to break the lease agreement and are there penalties associated with breaking the lease?
• What is the resident responsible for doing prior to moving out and are there additional charges associated with the move out?
• Does any security deposit placed accrue interest and how is the resident refunded this deposit after moving out?
• What happens if the resident outlives his or her finances? Does the community make any provision for this occurrence?
• Is there an entrance fee? If so, is it refundable?
• How is a resident’s financial viability determined by the community?
• Who can I contact if any part of the care is NOT provided?
• Who is responsible for the on-site management of the community and what is that person’s tenure with the company?
• What type of company manages the community? Is it public or private, for profit or not-for-profit?
• How are financial decisions made by the company that may impact the retirement or assisted living community?

The answers that you obtain when asking these questions will provide insight about how well a community is able to care for you or your loved one. It can give you a better foundation for feeling secure about the retirement or assisted living community you choose.